Things that Hinder our Love

"For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." - Romans 8:37-39

This much-loved and often-quoted passage of scripture assures us that no circumstance of this life or any threat we face can dissolve the bonds that keep us in the Father's love. As much as this already speaks to me by itself in terms of the Christian's relationship to God, it spoke to me differently this morning in light of another passage of scripture:

"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another." - John 13:34 

If, as Christians, we are all children of the same Father, fixed in his affections by bonds that no circumstance can sever, and if we are commanded to love as he loves us, why are we so easily divided in our affections from one another? The love that is manifested by God toward us should rightly be manifested through the Spirit of God among us. Why, then, is this "unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace" the exception in the church rather than the rule?

I believe there are two primary reasons for this:

1. Unbelief - We are not convinced of God's love for us.

Many of us have been so battered by this life and are so full of rejection and fear that virtually every day with us is a game of "He loves me; he loves me not." The consequence of not believing in his love is a continual cycle of doubt, fear, worry, and despair, resulting in double-mindedness, the inability to focus properly, and an emotional miserliness that separates us from both God and man because we're so afraid of losing what we have (or think we have) that we can't reach out to anyone else or let them reach out to us. It's rather difficult to link hands with someone when you're hands are already full. To join with others, we have to put our "stuff" down first.

2. Pride - We're too caught up in love of self.

Pride, which is really love of self above all else, can stem from rejection as a type of defense mechanism (usually manifesting in a stormy, unpredictable temperament), but often it is a separate category entirely. Pride is like fire; it consumes everything in favor of itself. Pride sees everything in terms of how it relates to self: "That's not what I like," "That's not how I would do it," "That doesn't make me happy," "That's not how I see it," "Where does that leave me?", and so forth. A person caught in a stronghold of pride practically generates their own gravity field, drawing everything to themselves. Even if they dislike and avoid you, it's usually difficult to escape their influence, as they'll find ways - even subtle ways - of conveying their disdain for you and poisoning others against you. For some people, this is almost a game.

In Proverbs 6, Solomon tells us that there are seven things that are "abominations" in the sight of God, and pride (love of self) lies at the heart of every one of them. In Job 41, he describes a fearsome creature with the characteristics of a classical dragon and calls it "king over the children of pride." These are strong testaments to what God thinks of pride.

Needless to say, pride is the mortal enemy of love. I believe these two things: unbelief and pride, are at the heart of our failure to love one another as God loves us, and together they have left the church divided, weak, and often at war with itself. Indeed, lack of love for others may be at the heart of why many of us are not growing as we would like to spiritually, as we're disobeying the commandment Jesus said lies at the heart of all true spirituality (Matthew 7:12; 22:40). If we rejoice in the Bible's declaration that nothing in this life can separate us from God's love for us, then we should take Christ's command to love one another as he loves us all the more seriously, and allow nothing to separate us from one another. The first step in that direction could be a prayer like this:

"Father, in the name of Jesus I confess my failure to love others as I ought to, as the Lord commanded us to, and ask your forgiveness. I desire to make this right in my life. I ask you to deliver me from unbelief and pride. Touch and heal me from every source of rejection that suppresses my ability to experience your love for me and hinders me in loving others. Expose every root of pride within me and grant me the strength to dig them out. Fill me with the same love for my fellow Christians that you have toward me, that I might be a blessing and a source of life and healing to all around me. I ask these things in faith, knowing that it is your will for your children to live in love, toward you as well as toward one another. You alone can make this possible. Teach me to yield to you so that you can do your works in me and through me. Amen."

* Scriptures are quoted from the NASB.