A similar
process takes place in the human heart.
Unless
tended to quickly, anger and wounded emotions can ripen into bitterness, which
can then fester and putrefy into hatred. Anger, bitterness, and hatred are
forms of spiritual death and decay. As a deer carcass rotting on the side of
the road fills the immediate area with the stench of its decomposition, these destructive
emotions and attitudes can quickly permeate an entire personality, to the point
where everyone around the affected person can see and feel the results, even if
they don’t know the cause (ever drive through a particular area, wrinkle your
nose, and say “What died here?”).
The results
of emotional death and decay are equally unmistakable. The longer it goes on,
the worse it gets, the more thoroughly it permeates everything around it, and
the more difficult it is to clean up completely. It leaves a stain on the
personality that repels even the person who carries it. Who among us would take
a rotting deer carcass home, sleep in the same room with it, bathe with it, tie
it onto our backs and take it with us from place to place? The very idea is
vomit-inducing. A person could not do such a thing and remain sane.
It’s little
wonder then that wounded people so often hate themselves, engage in
self-destructive behavior, tend to destroy all of their relationships (no matter
how desperately they may want to love and be loved), and hate those around them
who seem to be leading normal lives. They are walking tombs; they carry death
and decay inside of themselves. It has come to saturate their every emotion,
every reaction, and every thought process. Often, they are obsessed with death,
pain, violence, the trappings of death, the occult and supernatural, spirits,
death-related imagery, and wanting to die.
It’s little
wonder that in the New Testament book of Ephesians, the Apostle Paul warns us: “Do
not let the sun go down on your anger” (Ephesians 4:26). In other words, don’t
let your anger fester; you can reach a point where it literally takes a miracle
to set you free.
Yet, freedom
is possible. Christ can deliver a
person from anger, bitterness, and hatred, and can clean up the darkest heart,
but he will not do so against our will. If you want to be free, you must
determine to forgive all who have ever hurt you. The anger you feel toward
those people is source of the problem, and as such it has to go, or it will
just continue to poison you.
“But what
they did to me was WRONG! It was TERRIBLE! I CAN'T forgive them!”
If this is
your objection—and believe me, I understand it, as I’ve been deeply hurt by
people myself and held on to that anger for a long time—you’re not understanding
what I mean by ‘forgiveness’; what God means by it.
Forgiving a
person does not mean that what they did to you was okay. It does not mean that
they were right and you were wrong. It does not mean that you deserved what
happened to you. It does not mean that you will forget what happened. It does
not mean that you have to become their best friend or even speak to them again.
It simply means that you cancel the debt they owe you. It’s just like tearing
up an I.O.U. Think of what they did to you as a legal debt they owe you, like a
large sum of money. Forgiving them is tearing up the bill, releasing them from
your demand that they pay, that you be allowed vengeance on them. It means that
you leave the question of payment, of vengeance, to God.
This is a
decision, an act of the will, not a
feeling, not an emotion. You may feel like killing them, and you can’t help the
feeling, but what you choose to do is
another matter. You can choose freedom, or you can choose to carry spiritual
death and decay around in yourself until it saturates every area of your life,
destroying you and those around you.
Adding to
this, there are evil forces that will walk through what is essentially an open
door in your life and do their best to see to it that you never get free; they
will subject you to all manner of mental, emotional, and physical torment (see Matthew 18:21-36). In Ephesians 4, the Apostle Paul follows his
admonition to “not let the sun go down on your anger,” with: “Do not give place
to the devil” (Ephesians 4:27). The word “place” in this verse is translated
from a Greek word that means ‘a particular, reserved, or marked-off place.’
Today, we would use such a word to designate something like a reserved parking
spot. In other words, the New Testament warning is that festering anger in us
sets aside a place in our lives for the devil to operate in us. It would be
like giving him a room in your house, or an office in your building, for him to
use as he sees fit, and as the Lord Jesus himself warned us in John 10:10, the
devil comes only to “steal and kill and destroy.”
Is it any
wonder then that so many who carry hatred and deep emotional wounds are also
involved with the occult, obsessed with death, and seem to be caught up in the
midst of perpetual ruin? It’s no coincidence.
If someone
hurt you, what good do you do yourself by allowing what they did to continue to
hurt you, to keep you from every good thing that might otherwise enter your
life—even to allow evil spiritual forces to enter and control you? You’re not
hurting the person who hurt you; you’re hurting yourself, but Christ can set
you free if you’re willing to take the first step and make the decision to
forgive.
Further, to
become permanently free, make the decision to give your life to Christ, to make
him Lord. Only by the Spirit of God in your life can you successfully overcome
and be healed from the wounds of the past. Why give a place, room, or office
space to the devil when you can give it to God instead? This doesn’t mean that
you have to run right out and join a church, give up a bunch of money to some
guy on TV with a $100 haircut, or live in a cave somewhere like a monk. It
simply means that you give up control of your life to Christ and trust him to
work out what is best for you as you follow him. Ask him to forgive you of
every sin, to give you a new life, to cleanse and heal you, to lead you in the
way you should go, to help you to overcome everything that has hurt you and
held you back in the past, to give you hope and a future. Jesus came and died
for us, in our place, taking the wrath of God for everything we have ever done
wrong or ever will, in order to give us life, to provide for our deliverance
and healing. When we come to him, turning away from our old life (what the Bible
calls ‘repentance’), he takes our guilt and gives us his righteousness. His
resurrection from the dead was not just a good way to end a tragic story; it’s
the proof that God the Father accepted what he did on our behalf and will grant
life to all who come to him and obey him.
“Come to
me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke
upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will
find rest for your souls.” - Matthew 11:28-29
“If you will
confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God has
raised him from the dead, you will be saved; for with the heart a person
believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses,
resulting in salvation.” - Romans 10:9-10
“Because I
live, you will live also.” - John 14:19
Maybe you
want to take this step but you’re confused and conflicted, you don’t know what
to say, how to start. Here’s a model prayer that will help you, if you’re
sincere:
“God, I
don’t really know what to say to you. I don’t know that I’m even sure that you’re
there and listening to me. I’m talking to you because I know I can’t go on like
this. I’m coming to you because you say you will help me. If what the Bible
says about Jesus is the truth, if he is really your Son, if he died in my place
and came back to life so that I could be reconciled with you, then I give you
my life right now. Take it and be my Lord. Forgive me and wipe away all of my
sins. And because I ask you to forgive me, I choose, as an act of my will, to
forgive all of those who have hurt me, especially...[name the people and what
they did to you] and I ask you to change my heart toward them however you will.
I give them over to you. I ask you to heal me inside, to deliver me from the
death and rottenness that have festered in my heart, and from any and all evil
spirits that I have given a place to in my life. I take back those places and
give them over to you. Take full possession of every part of me. Give me your
Spirit with all of the gifts he brings, fill me with your peace, and teach me
how to live for you.”
Don’t let your heart, mind, and emotions become just another
lonely stretch of highway where something died and was left to rot. Give it to
the one who can clean up anything, who can restore you, who can fill you with
life and make you a blessing to the whole world.
“He who believes in me, just as the scriptures have said, out of
his innermost being shall flow rivers of living water.” – John 7:38
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