The Mad and Fickle Mob

“But to what shall I compare this generation? They are like children in the marketplace, who call out to the other children and say, ‘We played the flute for you, and you did not dance; we sang a dirge, and you did not mourn.’ For John [the Baptist] came neither eating nor drinking, and they say, ‘He has a demon!’ The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, ‘Behold a gluttonous man and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!’ Yet wisdom is vindicated by her deeds.” – Matthew 11:16-20

Every revolutionary movement claims to throw off the yoke of some oppression, to break the bonds of some expected conformity that stifles freedom in one way or another. Yet, for all their lofty talk, I find that most such movements have very exacting standards of conformity. Those who would dialogue with them must agree to their definitions or there can be no ‘real’ dialogue. Those who would try to accommodate them must agree to their demands entirely or there can be no ‘real’ accommodation.

They are most merciless of all within their own ranks. Dissent from the prevailing group opinion is sacrilege, treason—not merely to the group itself but to the higher ideal it supposedly represents. While they speak of freedom, they demand the most exacting standards of obedience. If they say, “March!” you had better ask “How far?” If they say, “Jump!” you had better ask “How high?”

Mobs are fickle by nature, and as prone to devouring their own as anything else that gets in their way, if not more so. This is the unfortunate lesson that awaits those currently stirring up agitation and grinning while it does the work they dare not do themselves. They’ve lit things on fire, and, fools that they are, they think it will burn only where and what they see fit. Because they have no regard for any history other than the one they envision, they’re unaware that the winds of revolution change frequently, and will, sooner or later, blow the fires they’ve lit back on themselves. Today’s saints may well be tomorrow’s heretics.

The point of what Jesus is saying in the text I quoted from Matthew 11 is that the mob is fickle and never satisfied. If they want to find fault with you, they will, and the standards by which they do so will change by the day—for the only real standard they have is the need for finding fault. Wisdom, on the other hand, does not bow to the mob. It’s not afraid of being called names or having its motives questioned. Truth is not afraid of lies. Lies, however, are always afraid of truth. In this way, wisdom is vindicated. It holds to truth and does not change because truth does not change. John and Jesus came preaching the same message with different ministry styles, yet the mob found fault with both them, demonstrating that it was chiefly the message they hated rather than the men.

If you want to see what a person or a movement is really made of, start agreeing with them and see what they do. They may have criticized you in the past for one thing or another, but if you get on-message with them, you’ll likely find that they will either excuse what they used to condemn as faults in you, or else they’ll portray those things as peculiar types of strength—“It takes all kinds, you know. This just demonstrates the diversity of our movement!” Pamper their egos and you’ll get even better results. In this way, you will see what they truly value.

If you want the praise of the mob, it’s easy enough to get. Just be prepared to change quickly, and often, and keep your real self hidden well out of sight.

* Scripture taken from the NASB.
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The Cure for Broken Relationships

It's tragic to see so many marriages falling apart, including Christian marriages. In many instances, this is attributable to stubbornness and selfishness on the part of one or both spouses. In other instances, it seems to be the result of years of unresolved frustration and anger that give rise to bitterness. In the latter case, things tend to come to a head quickly, with one spouse abruptly storming out on the other, who is then left bewildered and broken. Where children are involved, it's all the more tragic.

What's the remedy for this? Counseling? Therapy? Medication?

The answer became more fully apparent to me some time back while I was praying for a Christian couple that was in turmoil. This was one of the rare instances in which the Spirit actually answered me, and he did so as he almost always does - by interrupting me, which I suppose is his way of letting me know that what I'm hearing is not my own thought. He said, very simply, "I can't help them if they won't yield to me."

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control are all essential to establishing and maintaining the harmonious relationships that God intended us to have with one another, and all are called "fruits of the Spirit" in scripture (Galatians 5:22-23). They are manifestations of the transformative work of God in our character, and they can only be developed in us as we learn to yield to him rather than indulging our own desires, which typically manifest as lust, anger, stubbornness, selfishness, unforgiveness, bitterness, vengeance, and the like - all the things that typically destroy relationships.

If you're facing turmoil in a relationship today, it may well be that - contrary to conventional wisdom - marriage counseling should not be your first step toward reconciliation, at least not for the Christian. As I see the teaching of scripture, the first step may well be to spend time apart for awhile, seeking God individually, repenting of selfishness and learning to hear his voice and yield to his gentle prompting. Ephesians 4:3 refers to a "unity of the Spirit" that results in "the bond of peace." If you are both focused on him and yielded to him, the Spirit will naturally facilitate peace between you. Counseling tends to focus on working out your animosities, which shifts your attention to yourself and will likely cause you to become defensive. By giving control over to the Spirit of God first, you learn to see things (including one another) through his eyes, and the old complaints and battles will be far easier to overcome because pride and selfishness will no longer be in the way.

What, then, if your spouse is not interested in yielding to the Spirit of God? The hard truth there is that reconciliation may not be possible. As painful as this may be, regardless of what your spouse may choose to do, remain focused on the Lord, yielding to the Spirit rather than to succumbing to despair. The Spirit is not only capable of producing a unity that results in peace between persons, but also between us and our Lord, and it is this peace that the Bible tells us "surpasses all comprehension" and is able to "guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus."

When the peace of the living God has hold of you, there is nothing you cannot endure. Jesus was able to face the specter of the cross, in spite of being abandoned by his closest friends, simply because he knew "I am not alone, because the Father is with me" (John 16:33).

Your Father will be with you, too. Look to him and yield to his Spirit, cultivating the bond of peace that unity with him results in, no matter how even those closest to you may wound and betray you.


* Scriptures taken from the NASB